Bolt

Oh God. It's another licensed Wii tie-in to a Disney flick. We can already feel certain parts of our brain shut down in anticipation, notably the areas primarily associated with excitement and short-term memory blinked out the moment we clapped eyes on the box. Conversely, the lights are blazing in our now inflamed patience lobe. But wait! The diminished sliver of brain tissue that inspires hope in us is tingling: Bolt was an eye-catching and entirely rendered (a first for Disney) animation success in 2008. Maybe Bolt the Wii game could do a Kung-Fu Panda and actually knock us out with surprising playability?

The answer to that question is no, but it's definitely a long way from being the worst Wii tie-in we've ever played. Bolt, for those that haven't seen the film, is a story about a television series about a dog given super powers by his owner's father. Bolt escapes from the film set into the real world oblivious of the fact that he doesn't actually have super powers. But the game ignores that and focuses on the characters from the TV series instead... which was probably the best laid plan, considering begging for food and lolling your tongue out the window of a speeding vehicle doesn't make half as exciting a game as leathering baddies and shooting lasers out of your puppy-dog eyes.

Bolt treads a Wii-world-weary standard platform path, with a few features that notch it up a rank or two above the detritus that sinks to the bottom of store shelves as rapidly as their retail prices. Bolt and Penny work in tandem, both with alternate puzzle/action sequences that you could set your Sekonda to, except playing Bolt you get a remarkably grindy experience. His super-powers are interesting enough to make mauling antagonist Calico's lackeys to death occasionally strategic: Super bark can knock enemies over as well as flatten walls, while his laser-eyes can be used to zap multiple baddies in quick succession and open the way onward via some creative landscaping. But the novelty of battering cookie-cutter foes dies after two minutes and after hours of playing this Ritilan-deprived Lassie-wannabe, you'll have thoughts that would warrant an entry on PETA's hit list.

Playing as Penny is a somewhat Lara Croft experience, and by that we mean it's like playing a Tomb Raider game, nothing more (this is a 7+ PEGI rated game after all). She uses her Wheelbar to slide up, down, along or over otherwise impassable obstacles, which would be remotely interesting if these physical puzzles weren't made even more blindingly obvious by her Enhanced Vision mode. Penny has a more subtle approach to combat in that she can sneak and use her powers to cloak herself if the guards are alerted, and a far less monotonous stealth attack can be used to take the bad guys out in one swift animation. She can also hack computer terminals for an asteroids-style shooter minigame too, which was no more challenging than the rest of her game, but at least it provided a break.

There are a smattering of interesting features in Bolt, including quick-time events and dynamic music, plus it's visually more detailed than its contemporaries. But all in all, this will be gathering dust in a seven-year old's Wii game collection long before the next animated kid's film arrives.