A game called Bully, by a developer like Rockstar. In a way, you can hardly blame the mainstream press for getting the wrong end of the stick. Yet the adventures of a young boy named Jimmy Hopkins (played here seemingly by a young Wayne Rooney) at a boarding school named Bullworth Academy, is far more Grange Hill than GTA.

Our potato-faced protagonist is something of a loose cannon, having been expelled from several schools previously. His parents, as a last resort, send him to the strictest boarding school they know – a place where prefects grab you firmly by the ear if you’re so much as five minutes late for class, and yet also a place where chaos reigns.

The bully of the title isn’t you, though your reputation might suggest otherwise. Jimmy does his level best to stay out of trouble, though that’s not possible with the various school factions out there. Help out the nerds and the jocks will frown upon you. Chat up a greaser’s girlfriend and his whole posse will be on your back. And then there’s the bullies of the title – white-shirted Neanderthals who like nothing better than a shoving match (although on rare occasions they like to bring a baseball bat to the party). All the while you’ve got lessons to contend with too. Sheesh. And these are supposed to be the best days of our lives?

The game adopts a mission-based template similar to its sandbox stablemate GTA, though a slightly more rigid structure applies: every day has two sets of lessons, one in the morning and another in the afternoon. Aside from that, you’re free to do as you like… within reason. Step out of line once too often – whether by stealing from someone’s locker, giving a classmate a wedgie, or hurling stinkbombs at a prefect – and you’ll find yourself in the principal’s office, assuming you’ve not managed to hide in a bin until things calm down.

Lessons are varied and fairly interesting, with some requiring more thought than is the norm within the genre. English requires you to find all the words hidden within a set of letters (harder than it looks), while Chemistry requires you to pour and stir ingredients at the right time with some twists and flicks of the remote. The two new classes are Music and Biology, the former requiring timed shakes of the controllers to hit cowbells and timpani, while the latter features some grisly animal vivisection in a Trauma Center Lite style.

What Rockstar’s game offers over other sandbox titles is a compelling story and buckets of charm. Despite appearances, it’s a hugely likable game, with Jimmy often helping the less fortunate – like walking a nerd to the library and protecting him from assailants on the way – and gaining the most by humouring people, whether giving flowers to girls in exchange for a quick peck, or apologising to those for whom you’ve caused problems. It’s surprisingly sweet-natured at times, and though it occasionally ventures into darker territory, it’s all leavened with a healthy dose of humour in the excellent script. It’s not just the dialogue that will make you laugh, either. Little incidents that you catch glimpses of as you dash around the dorms show vignettes of school life which add to the feeling of immersion – prefects scolding late arrivers, nerds tripping over, girls gossiping in groups… it’s all beautifully realised. The graphics, though not technically masterful, have plenty of character, while the voice acting is terrific throughout.

… continued